[1] Source: "$1.99 Kernel Burger Deal Commercial." Aired across the Midwest. 1991.
[2] Submitted by: Grenthel Spibbs. Extracted from crime scene evidence files, declassified in 1999.
[3] Uploaded to the archive: February 27, 2025. NotstalgiaArchive.org
Background
It is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when an innocuous fast food promotion spiralled into something far more complex, but historians generally agree that the first televised appearance of Grumbar the Granite Man was a turning point.
Originally conceived as a one-off mascot for the $1.99 Kernel Burger Deal, the lumbering, rock-like figure was meant to instil brand confidence. What followed, of course, was something else entirely.
The man inside the Grumbar suit, a former children’s party performer named Virgil Nance, found himself at the centre of an increasingly devoted following, though not for reasons anyone could have predicted.
By sheer accident, he was still wearing the foam-and-latex construct at his first unofficial ‘gathering,’ and his booming, muffled voice - intended originally to sell value meals - was instead interpreted as something divine.
The message? Well, scholars have debated this for decades, but common themes include the rejection of material wealth, the endurance of the human spirit, and, ironically, an unwavering commitment to all-you-can-eat buffet culture.
For a brief, dazzling period, the Cult of Grumbar flourished. Entire communities reshaped their lives around his ‘teachings,’ scrawled in increasingly illegible handwriting on the backs of promotional napkins.
Of course, as is often the case, things took a turn.
The timeline of events remains disputed, but suffice it to say, by the time federal authorities became involved, most of Grumbar’s flock had shuffled off this mortal coil under circumstances both tragic and avoidably theatrical.
A fast food promotion that became a movement.
A man who became a prophet.
And a mascot that - if the whispers are to be believed - never truly left.
One thing is clear - $1.99 is a fair price for average chicken.
Further reading
https://archive.org/details/1990-commercial-for-kfc
Share this post