Thanks to a recent (and frankly suspicious) donation, the Notstalgia Archives now possesses a significant collection of unmarked VHS tapes.
We are fairly confident that most of these are perfectly harmless recordings of daytime television, corporate training videos, or local commercials.
However, statistically speaking, at least a few are almost certainly cursed.
Given our busy schedules and our shared desire to remain un-cursed, we are seeking volunteers to assist in categorising these tapes.
Ideal candidates include university students, amateur paranormal investigators, and individuals whose continued existence is of slightly less personal importance to us. (If you’re unsure if this includes you, good news - it does!).
Your role will be to watch these tapes, take meticulous notes, and return in three to four weeks so that we may confirm the following:
That the tape you viewed was, in fact, non-cursed.
That the individual who donated the tapes is not a witch.
Or, conversely, that the tape was cursed, the donor was a witch, and you yourself may now be a witch.
In the event of the third scenario, further testing will be required to differentiate between naturally occurring witch volunteers and those given placebo tapes.
If you do not return within four calendar weeks, we will be forced to conclude that you have been dragged into an eldritch realm beyond mortal comprehension, in which case your remaining VHS assignments will be reassigned.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make a real contribution to archival science, supernatural research, and possibly the age-old battle between good and evil.
If interested, please sign up at the front desk1
Please bring a next-of-kin contact, just in case. In addition please forward any personalised burial rites for respectful cataloguing to 403forbidden@notstalgiaarchive.org
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