URGENT: Who Keeps Changing the Year on the Calendar in the Archive Breakroom?
Please be careful of the time slippage on the floor and a bit around the cabinets.
The Notstalgia Archives maintain a strict policy of chronological integrity.
It is essential for our work that time remains linear, comprehensible, and - at the very least - loosely cooperative.
However, an issue has been brought to our attention that suggests otherwise.
Multiple employees have reported that the calendar in the Archive breakroom is not behaving as expected. Despite repeated corrections, the year continues to shift to inexplicable values overnight.
Yesterday, it read 1908, the day before that 2091, and, at one point, a date consisting entirely of symbols unrecognizable by any known linguistic system.
The most troubling alteration so far occurred last Thursday, when the calendar simply read: "NO."
Initial investigations ruled out typical causes such as employee pranks, printing errors, or supernatural interference from the VHS section (though let’s be honest, that section is always up to something).
Security footage reveals no observable tampering, yet the changes persist. A review of archival documentation suggests this may not be the first instance - records from 1994 indicate a similar incident (although, to be fair, that entry could have been from last week, for all we know).
Staff complaints range from mild confusion to full existential distress. Some employees report experiencing a temporal lag, such as finishing conversations that had not yet started, discovering meals they distinctly remember eating but have yet to prepare, or suddenly realising they are still on hold with customer service for a call they placed in 2003.
The coffee machine has begun dispensing beverages labelled with expiry dates several decades in the future, though some employees claim the "2087 Espresso" actually slaps.
For now, we advise all personnel to avoid relying on the breakroom calendar for scheduling purposes1.
An official solution is pending, though given the nature of the issue, it is possible one has already been implemented in a future we have yet to reach.
We have set an internal target of fixing this by last Tuesday at the earliest. And, indeed, the latest.
If you have any information regarding the individual or entity responsible, please come forward immediately. If you believe you are responsible but do not recall doing so, please visit HR for a standard time-displacement debriefing (and possibly a firm talking-to about playing with the space-time continuum).
We appreciate your patience as we work toward restoring the proper flow of time within the Archive.
As a temporary measure, HR has installed what is believed to be a Mayan calendar in the breakroom. While its exact origins remain unclear, it was described in internal memos as “definitely older than expected.” Though it does not resolve the underlying anomaly, it does at lease provide an imposing presence during these difficult times. Employees are encouraged to interpret its readings at their own risk
